The Un-Meaning of Life
Okay, so it's another week...and I've come to some really astute conclusions and un-conclusions.
1. I'm very non-committal aka I'm scared of commitment.
2. I'm over-committed.
Strange, isn't it?
It's time to cancel out some activities/ people that don't add to my life what I had expected out of them.
I play soccer, I volunteer at the Holocaust Museum, I have organized a cycling team at my office and plan on riding in a 2-day 180-mile trek to Austin which in turn requires a large amount of training and preparation, I am part of a book club, I love to go out with my friends to Happy Hour, I'm attempting to date and have a social life with those of the opposite sex, I'm trying to maintain a semi-functional relationship with my parents, I am a stickler for keeping up a clean, well-maintained home, I have two cats whom I love but miss very much because I'm rarely home to see them, I am trying to take initiative and demonstrate drive at work in order to possibly advance within the organization.
In the course of the week, my mind goes 100mph. Sometimes I just crash and say there are a hundred things I SHOULD be doing right now, but I'm not moving from this couch.
So I've got to prioritize.
What goes?
The cycling thing will be over mid-April, but until then, I must stay steady. Too many people counting on me. I'm too personally invested to back-out.
The museum? Again too many people counting on me, too personally invested.
Soccer? It's once a week. Low pressure. And I feel great after running around kicking people- I mean, kicking the soccer ball.
My book club? Again, I'm personally invested. And it's FUN! Besides, we must all keep our minds active...
Job? I must pay rent. And I wouldn't mind a nicer pad, so a nicer job is necessary. I'd also like to travel, buy some new shoes, be able to afford groceries, and paint, so $$$ is very necessary. I must keep investing myself at work.
My parents? God-help me if I chose to cut them out...that would just be a mistake for everyone involved.
My friends? Uh, no.
Dating and boys? Hmmm, seems pretty unnecessary at this point. Although it feels good to have someone to share life's daily battles with, in the end, they become one of life's daily battles for me. My blog indicates how much time is spent on guys. What have I gained? Some hard lessons learned? Quite a bit of time wasted pining over a doomed relationship? Time wasted on a euphoric high of a new relationship that is bound to pass? But I don't want time to pass me by either. I don't want to wake up at 35 and say wait a minute, where did all the men go? There are quite a few to chose from these days, but if I cut them out now, will they ever come back?
Un-conclusion: Perhaps I'll cut out soccer and maybe possibly let the dishes pile up once a week while I'm out on a fabulous date.
1. I'm very non-committal aka I'm scared of commitment.
2. I'm over-committed.
Strange, isn't it?
It's time to cancel out some activities/ people that don't add to my life what I had expected out of them.
I play soccer, I volunteer at the Holocaust Museum, I have organized a cycling team at my office and plan on riding in a 2-day 180-mile trek to Austin which in turn requires a large amount of training and preparation, I am part of a book club, I love to go out with my friends to Happy Hour, I'm attempting to date and have a social life with those of the opposite sex, I'm trying to maintain a semi-functional relationship with my parents, I am a stickler for keeping up a clean, well-maintained home, I have two cats whom I love but miss very much because I'm rarely home to see them, I am trying to take initiative and demonstrate drive at work in order to possibly advance within the organization.
In the course of the week, my mind goes 100mph. Sometimes I just crash and say there are a hundred things I SHOULD be doing right now, but I'm not moving from this couch.
So I've got to prioritize.
What goes?
The cycling thing will be over mid-April, but until then, I must stay steady. Too many people counting on me. I'm too personally invested to back-out.
The museum? Again too many people counting on me, too personally invested.
Soccer? It's once a week. Low pressure. And I feel great after running around kicking people- I mean, kicking the soccer ball.
My book club? Again, I'm personally invested. And it's FUN! Besides, we must all keep our minds active...
Job? I must pay rent. And I wouldn't mind a nicer pad, so a nicer job is necessary. I'd also like to travel, buy some new shoes, be able to afford groceries, and paint, so $$$ is very necessary. I must keep investing myself at work.
My parents? God-help me if I chose to cut them out...that would just be a mistake for everyone involved.
My friends? Uh, no.
Dating and boys? Hmmm, seems pretty unnecessary at this point. Although it feels good to have someone to share life's daily battles with, in the end, they become one of life's daily battles for me. My blog indicates how much time is spent on guys. What have I gained? Some hard lessons learned? Quite a bit of time wasted pining over a doomed relationship? Time wasted on a euphoric high of a new relationship that is bound to pass? But I don't want time to pass me by either. I don't want to wake up at 35 and say wait a minute, where did all the men go? There are quite a few to chose from these days, but if I cut them out now, will they ever come back?
Un-conclusion: Perhaps I'll cut out soccer and maybe possibly let the dishes pile up once a week while I'm out on a fabulous date.
posted by Kim at 9:47 AM
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