I'm back!! With red flags taped all over me...
So...um...I was gone for awhile. It's kind of awkward coming back at this point, but I suppose also a bit of a relief. I've got some strangely eerie news. After reading a recent blog post of mine, I have had to face some cold hard facts sitting right here in front of my face in 10pt font.
I knew it- the boy had red flags all over him from the very beginning, and dammit if I didn't end up exactly where I thought we were headed- well, perhaps even in a worse place than I had originally forseen. Here's the short version because I'm disgustingly sick of talking about it. One week we're talking about marriage, he's taking me to church with him, I'm ACTUALLY considering converting religions for him, we are planning a trip to Big Bend in a few weeks, and then we have a conversation that begins with him asking if I thought we spent enough time together. He went on to say that maybe we should reprioritize things so that we could spend MORE time together. We did a lot of talking, so I wrapped things up by saying why don't we just think about everything that was said and get back together later in the week to discuss. The next day he's come to the conclusion that we should break-up. What a sweet bedtime story, a freekin' fairy tale...
So here I am again, all upset over a boy that I KNEW was not right for me since the beginning. I've learned to definitely, without reservation TRUST MY INSTINCTS. I called my own doomed relationship's end! How retarded of me! Run when you scream fire, girl! Listen to your own self! Okay, I'm over it...well, I'm getting over it. Rejection ain't easy, folks. Some days I feel so embarrassed. But not for long. In general, I'm not the girl with self esteem issues. That just isn't me. You don't want me, asshole? Well, you better have been sure about that decision because I don't hand out second chances. I've already been on a couple dates. And I seem to still have it...actually I think I get better with age. Don't we all? Yes, we all do except 35 year old momma's boys with self-esteem issues who have yet to have a serious committed relationship...they just get more confused and more bogged down in their own pity party. Who has time for that anyway?
So I've got some interesting dates lined up. I'm doing the online dating thing. There, I've outed myself. You know what, we're all doing it- all of us single, fabulous young adults who want quick results and want to "window shop" for a date rather than throw out cheesy pick-up lines at work, at the bar, at the grocery store, at church. And really, you have the same odds of meeting psychotic people at the aforementioned list of potential pick-up spots as you do online- Myself and my dear friend, Lisa, are proof, but we won't rehash that story.
Speaking of Lisa, I have plans to visit her in San Diego after Thanksgiving. And I'm so looking forward to it!! For the first time in quite a while, Lisa and I find ourselves in similar dating (or non-dating rather) situations. I was reading a book that says you MUST always have girlfriends that are in the same stage of life that you find yourself in. It is a necessary thing. In fact, I have found myself growing apart from my friends that are in relationships- including my best girlfriend. They just don't know. They don't know or experience regularly the haps and mis-haps that we single, independent girls experience daily. So speaking of single girl, daily haps- here's mine for today- I was running at the park, and this guy (fairly good looking) was kind of checking me out. He ran past me going in the opposite direction with his doberman, and then he comes running back along side of me. I'm not good at subtle anything, especially flirting. So when the light clicks on that he's possibly interested, I sprint off. Why? I have no answer...no rational answer...I was running! I don't think about flirting while I'm working out! So I sprinted to the seclusion of my car. Bye, Mr. Runner Guy.
I'm still developing my dating skills. I'm a nerd. And a spaz.
I knew it- the boy had red flags all over him from the very beginning, and dammit if I didn't end up exactly where I thought we were headed- well, perhaps even in a worse place than I had originally forseen. Here's the short version because I'm disgustingly sick of talking about it. One week we're talking about marriage, he's taking me to church with him, I'm ACTUALLY considering converting religions for him, we are planning a trip to Big Bend in a few weeks, and then we have a conversation that begins with him asking if I thought we spent enough time together. He went on to say that maybe we should reprioritize things so that we could spend MORE time together. We did a lot of talking, so I wrapped things up by saying why don't we just think about everything that was said and get back together later in the week to discuss. The next day he's come to the conclusion that we should break-up. What a sweet bedtime story, a freekin' fairy tale...
So here I am again, all upset over a boy that I KNEW was not right for me since the beginning. I've learned to definitely, without reservation TRUST MY INSTINCTS. I called my own doomed relationship's end! How retarded of me! Run when you scream fire, girl! Listen to your own self! Okay, I'm over it...well, I'm getting over it. Rejection ain't easy, folks. Some days I feel so embarrassed. But not for long. In general, I'm not the girl with self esteem issues. That just isn't me. You don't want me, asshole? Well, you better have been sure about that decision because I don't hand out second chances. I've already been on a couple dates. And I seem to still have it...actually I think I get better with age. Don't we all? Yes, we all do except 35 year old momma's boys with self-esteem issues who have yet to have a serious committed relationship...they just get more confused and more bogged down in their own pity party. Who has time for that anyway?
So I've got some interesting dates lined up. I'm doing the online dating thing. There, I've outed myself. You know what, we're all doing it- all of us single, fabulous young adults who want quick results and want to "window shop" for a date rather than throw out cheesy pick-up lines at work, at the bar, at the grocery store, at church. And really, you have the same odds of meeting psychotic people at the aforementioned list of potential pick-up spots as you do online- Myself and my dear friend, Lisa, are proof, but we won't rehash that story.
Speaking of Lisa, I have plans to visit her in San Diego after Thanksgiving. And I'm so looking forward to it!! For the first time in quite a while, Lisa and I find ourselves in similar dating (or non-dating rather) situations. I was reading a book that says you MUST always have girlfriends that are in the same stage of life that you find yourself in. It is a necessary thing. In fact, I have found myself growing apart from my friends that are in relationships- including my best girlfriend. They just don't know. They don't know or experience regularly the haps and mis-haps that we single, independent girls experience daily. So speaking of single girl, daily haps- here's mine for today- I was running at the park, and this guy (fairly good looking) was kind of checking me out. He ran past me going in the opposite direction with his doberman, and then he comes running back along side of me. I'm not good at subtle anything, especially flirting. So when the light clicks on that he's possibly interested, I sprint off. Why? I have no answer...no rational answer...I was running! I don't think about flirting while I'm working out! So I sprinted to the seclusion of my car. Bye, Mr. Runner Guy.
I'm still developing my dating skills. I'm a nerd. And a spaz.
posted by Kim at 6:20 PM
0 comments
