Smile...

So I've jumped head-first back into the dating world. And it looks like my first pick is a pretty damn good one- intelligent, athletic, motivated, successful, compassionate, no overtly creepy characteristics to speak of.

But I'm so horrible at this dating thing. I say the weirdest things. I hear some far-fetched or garbled something or another come out of my mouth, and I'm asking myself who is that girl. I swear, I will disown my mouth when I get home. I'm becoming a mute asap.

It seems I haven't scared him off just yet. I keep telling myself not to be nervous because I'm just using this one for practice- and damn it if he doesn't think it's cute...huh, I think I'm coming across as a giggly, multiple personality having schmuck who always stares blankly off into space, and he enjoys my company!

Sometimes I zone out when he's talking- not because he's uninteresting but because I'm suddenly convinced that I've got a big smear of lipstick on my teeth. So I frantically start trying to think of a way to wipe my teeth without looking any schmuckier than I already have. I take a sip of water and gently swish. I attempt to inconspicuously run my tongue across my teeth. I take a bite of my hamburger and chew with my front teeth in hopes that the friction will take the dreaded lipstick off! Why do I buy long-lasting lipstick when its only long-lasting on places I don't want it to last like my new white t-shirt! Damn, damn, damn...

"So really that's why I appreciate those things more these days. And you?"

What? What the hell? And me what? Panic...

So I just give an awkward grin doing my best not to show my top row of teeth.

Ta-da...this is Rudy, for better or worse. And I'm okay with that. I'm far from perfect, but never a bore. A little more self-consumed than I would like to be, but I'm genuine.